WAYS HUSBANDS AND WIVES CAN RESTART HEALTHY COMMUNICATION AFTER A BREAK

 Difficult and complicated problems shall dissolve at your presence because of the anointing of God's favour upon you.

Good -Life Devotional: 

WAYS HUSBANDS AND WIVES CAN RESTART HEALTHY COMMUNICATION AFTER A BREAK

By Rev Michael Benson Ajayi 

"All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation." (2 Corinthians 5:18, AMP)

   Marriage is a divine covenant, not just a social contract. Yet, even strong marriages can experience seasons of misunderstanding, emotional distance, or even physical separation. These breaks, if not handled well, can destroy trust and affection. But God specializes in reconciliation, and He calls couples to walk in that same spirit.

   The story of Prophet Hosea and his wife Gomer (Hosea 3:1-3) is a vivid example. Gomer abandoned Hosea, yet God commanded Hosea to love her again, symbolizing His unwavering love for His people. This narrative teaches us that reconciliation is possible—even after deep hurt—through God’s grace and intentional effort.

Below are some practical ways couples can restart healthy communication after a break, supported by Scripture and real-life wisdom.

1. BEGIN WITH PRAYER AND HUMILITY

Everything begins with God. Prayer softens hardened hearts and aligns our spirit with His will. Before you speak to your spouse, speak to God. Hosea sought God before restoring his wife, and so should we.

"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (James 4:6)

Example: Before John called his estranged wife after six months of silence, he prayed daily for God to heal his bitterness. By the time he reached out, his tone was humble and loving, not accusatory.

2. ACKNOWLEDGE PAST HURTS WITHOUT BLAME

Healthy communication starts by addressing the elephant in the room. Pretending nothing happened deepens wounds. However, this must be done without finger-pointing. Use “I feel” statements instead of “You always” or “You never.”

"Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head—Christ." (Ephesians 4:15)

Example: Instead of saying, “You abandoned me,” say, “I felt lonely and hurt during our separation.” This opens the door for empathy rather than defense.

3. EXPRESS GENUINE FORGIVENESS

Without forgiveness, reconciliation is impossible. Colossians 3:13 says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Forgiveness is a choice, not an emotion. You may not forget immediately, but you can release resentment today.

Example: Belema  wrote a letter to her husband after his betrayal, stating, “I choose to forgive you, not because you deserve it, but because Christ forgave me.” That broke the ice for honest conversation.

4. SPEAK WITH LOVE AND RESPECT

Words can either build bridges or walls. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, “A gentle answer turns away wrath.” Avoid harsh tones, sarcasm, or threats. Instead, speak words that heal and edify.

Example: When arguments arose, Timi and Ngozi agreed to pause and pray before continuing the discussion. This practice helped them choose kind words even in tense moments.

In our daily prayers we should seek a healthy appetite for God's word and the spirit of reconciliation in our homes and communities.

PRAYER : Heavenly Father forgive me of my sins against you I believe Jesus Christ died and was raised again for my salvation I receive him as lord and saviour and receive the Holy Spirit and power to overcome bitterness.

Heavenly Father, thank You for being the God of restoration. Heal our hearts from hurt, remove pride, and help us to speak with love and grace. Teach us to forgive as You forgave us. May our home be filled with peace and understanding. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

+2348035536911 email michaelbensonajayi@gmail.com